I was looking at some old YouTube videos from an email account I shut down a few years ago and I found this old video. I’ve probably shared this before here. This video always moves me…

This was the first time I EVER sang all by myself at church, and as you can see, I was frozen and scared out of my mind! This was in 2009, and I was also around 30 weeks pregnant.

Looking back, I’m thankful for the patience and kindness from the worship leadership on that team.

I spent the majority of that season singing occasional back up vocals, and in that time, God led me to be a “sponge.”  That is, to soak up everything I could from all the super talented musicians around me.

So, I learned so much from doing very little singing and a lot of listening and that is a lesson I will always carry with me.  Not to mention, it has also really helped me while learning guitar. Stop. Listen. Really listen. Pause. Wait.

Ask questions. Be teachable. Practice. Know my weaknesses. Know my strengths. Be myself. Listen. Sing what fits my voice the best, don’t try and copy anyone else. Listen. Sing what fits the song the best. Listen. Sing what enhances the lead the best. Listen. Don’t sing a part just because I can. Know how not to sing. Or don’t sing. Listen. Don’t sing. Have restraint. Listen for the big picture. Hold back. Listen. Always listen.

And the Holy Spirit leads….

 I’ve matured in my vocals so much since then, but watching this reminds me of God’s faith in me when I had little in myself. So, I’m not embarrassed of this recording – In fact, I love everything that it symbolizes,  I love the song, and I love the memories of my journey that resurface as I watch this.

I think its beautiful. There is beauty in the first step of a journey. There is beauty in faith. There is beauty in risk. There is beauty in me.

Thank you God…for seeing the beauty in me.
Listen…if you want.

                                                                Spring, 2009