Fathers and daughters have very special relationships. I know this because I am a daughter who is close to her father. I always hear things like, “A little girl needs her mother, and a boy needs his father,” which is true, of course. In actuality, a child with two loving parents needs both of the parents, regardless! And if they only have one loving parent, well that’s all they will need! Obviously, the key word is, loving. But there is this stigma, and I found out about it during the past 8 months of pregnancy.
You see, first, we thought we were having a boy. When we told people the good news, they would say, “Oh, how wonderful for Chris! Are you sad it’s not a girl?” or “Oh, I bet Chris is so proud!” Only our family members and a very few others said things like, “Oh how wonderful, boys are great!” I remember this, because I immediately felt like saying, “HEY!! I’m also proud and ecstatic to have a boy!”
Then, we had another ultrasound, which revealed we were going to have a little girl, instead. After a month of thinking and daydreaming about little cute, chubby, little boys, it was a little hard to reverse our mindset and start daydreaming of cute, chubby, little girls! But, for us, we didn’t care if we had a boy or girl. We just wanted a healthy little one. So, when we told people we are having a girl, this is what they say: “OH, a little girl! Poor Chris!” or “Aw, little girls are so cute! Was your husband disappointed, though?”
Seriously….I have come to realize that people really do not think about what they are saying. I have especially realized this during pregnancy. Why the poor Chris? Why would he be disappointed? And why would he only be proud if we were having a boy? And, why would I be sad if I was having a boy? Anyhow, it’s this whole stigma….that all men only want boys and all women only want girls.
As you know, we only have about 7.5 weeks left until we get to meet Isabela. We are so excited! It gets more and more real everyday! I can’t wait to enter this impending motherhood, but also, I can’t wait to see Chris develop into the amazing father I know he will be!
When I was a little girl, my father was so important to me. I have all sorts of fun memories. He was the one who let me climb all over him and sit on his shoulders. He would tease me and tickle me, and tell me all kinds of silly jokes and stories. He taught me how to play softball and how to ride a bike. When my mom would take us to visit him at work, he always had the little ice cream cups with the little wooden spoons waiting. Dad was the fun, silly guy who always fixed everything. Yes, he was also the scary one when we were in trouble, but Dad was the one super cool guy that always made everything funny funnier, and everything scary less scary. He was the smartest guy in the world – Dad was a cool guy! (:
As I got older, yes, it got a little bit harder. My dad wasn’t as important to me as my friends and cute boys at school. He wasn’t as funny or smart or as cool as my friends, and even embarrassed me at times. We got into some really huge arguments, which usually resulted in me losing phone privileges, being grounded, or even having my privacy taken away. (my dad took my room’s door off the hinges several times). Yeah…..those teenage years……..I know they must have been hard on him! Really hard, because I was a pretty bad teenager. I talked back a lot, snuck out of the house, skipped school sometimes….and pretty much got caught almost EVERY SINGLE TIME! My dad never backed off of me. He never just let me do anything I wanted. He always continued to discipline me. I wasn’t thankful for that then.
But, now….I am just so thankful for my dad. It’s so fun to be older and really see my dad at his funniest and best. It’s great to have such a close relationship with him. It’s great to be able to look back at all those arguments, where he wouldn’t budge on his stance, and appreciate his stubbornness. Most of all, its great to finally see that everything he did on my behalf was a result of his love for me. If my dad didn’t discipline me for sneaking out, if he just gave up on me…..where would I be today?
I am all together more thankful for my Dad, because for the latter part of my teenage years, he had no help with us kids. He finished raising us up on his own. And believe me, none of his 3 daughters are perfect, but we’re not doing too badly, either!
The relationship I have with my dad is unlike any other. I consider it a true blessing.
What’s funny is this. All the silly stuff….the tickling, the silly stories, the wrestling, the ice cream, the learning how to play softball and ride bikes…..that is where it all started. That laid the foundation for our relationship, all starting from cuddles and kisses and fun!
So, with 7.5 weeks to go, I cannot wait to see Chris building the foundation of his relationship with Isabela….with lots of kisses, cuddling, and playing! Though I pray that Isabela will have a close relationship with each of us, I take so much comfort knowing that she will be able to experience the one of a kind closeness that I get to experience with my dad.
2 thoughts on “Fathers and Daughers”
Fathers are so important in their children's lives. Your dad was a great role model for you! You are lucky! I can feel the excitement from all your writings. Beautiful Isabela is so lucky to have two wonderful parents waiting for her arrival and to kiss her precious face!
a few things….
1. “Seriously….I have come to realize that people really do not think about what they are saying.”
in Grandmas voice… DUH!
2.little ice cream cups with the little wooden spoons
i love and need thoes in my life agian
3. he sure does make everything funny funnier
4. “he had no help with us kids. He finished raising us up on his own.” he did a great job.
5.And believe me, none of his 3 daughters are perfect, but we’re not doing too badly, either!
i think they are pretty wonderful