at night.

I have been wanting to blog on numerous topics lately, but its sooooo much, that I don’t really know where to start.

As most people know, I am a very sensitive person. Not sensitive, like over-emotional, but sensitive in the way that the plight of the suffering really touches my heart.

The past couple of nights….I have tossed and turned over so many issues that I feel completely helpless against. Just to name a few….human-trafficking, sexual-slavery, child abuse, the orphan, sick and suffering babies and children…….human rights……genocide….

I have this checklist of things that I pray for, and what happens is that I get sooooo sick from all the injustice in the world, that it consumes me! I won’t sleep, or can’t sleep, because I can’t stop thinking about it. I toss and turn and toss and turn. And, I can’t stop feeling so completely and utterly HELPLESS !

I hate it. It makes me sick. To know that somewhere out there, a helpless child is being abused and neglected. To know that somewhere out there, people are jailed and even murdered due to their sexual preference. To know that heartless criminals profit from the sale of of human lives…

Several years ago, I did a pretty intense research project on human trafficking. It blew my mind. I have no words to describe what I’ve learned. No words. That project fueled me….it made me want to learn more. It forced me to open my eyes. It pulled me out of my safe little haven and made me care more than I thought I could!

And, now, I lie awake at night feeling helpless, heartbroken, and enraged.

I know I’m a sensitive being. But, is this normal? I don’t know. I’m sick of feeling helpless. I want to help. I want to change lives! I am just not sure how!

One thought on “at night.

  1. Alicia, it is hard when you have the sorrows of the world on your shoulders. I understand what you are saying. You either turn a blind eye or choose to acknowledge the suffering that is happening in this world. But with the acknowledgment comes the desire to do something, anything. But what and how becomes the question? Especially with children of our own. So while I can do little things now, (ex. the kids and I are going to put together little ziploc packets of snacks and some essentials to give to the homeless we see standing on the street corners as we drive), the bigger things will need to wait. When my kids are grown, I want to become a foster parent, because it breaks my heart to think of a child alone and scared. One day I would also like to travel to a third world country and work in the orphanages there. So for you maybe you can do some things that can soothe not only the recepients but your heart as well. Go volunteer in a soup kitchen, become a “Big Sister”, “Stand Up” when in a room of people “Sitting Down”. Doing so will ease the ache you feel and also teach Isa as she grows the power of love, generosity and compassion. Alicia, you have such a loving soul. I feel so thankful to count you as my family. xo


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