When I was 15, my parent got divorced and my mom moved away. I was angry, but mostly I was angry at God. If anyone asked me about God, I would say, ” I hate God. I don’t want anything to do with him.”
I joined the military. I partied, drank, and lived fast. If I had a boyfriend, sex was just part of it. One day, a friend walked me home from a bar. When we got to my place, he came inside to use the restroom, and I fell on my bed, fully clothed, and passed out. I woke up, unclothed, next to him. I immediately started shoving, hitting, and screaming at him. He sat up and said, ” Your fucking crazy. It was just sex.”
I froze, and he left. I sat on my bed, and I cried. Where was my life going? I knew that I had to change. My life HAD TO change.
That was my first awakening…
Years later, I was married. Chris and I went to mass every Sunday. But we were just going…just following the “rules”.
I used to run. Everyday. Miles and miles. Towards the end of my runs, I would pray for strength. One day, I said, “God, please help me, give me strength”
And I heard a voice very clearly say,” I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL ALONG. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?”
I fell down, got back up, and fell down again. I ran back home…with blood dripping down my knees, and crying all the way.
I kept asking myself, ” Where HAVE I been?” “Where I am going?”
And you know what? .God said to me, ” I will lead you down a road most will never go.”
This is the end of the beginning of my story. Since 2005, I wondered what that road would be. I wondered how God would use me. Now, I know. Finally, it has not only been revealed, but confirmed. And…I am ready.
More to come later.
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